July 2, 2013

Kaffee with Kym

If I invited you over for coffee today, you'd see me in all my glory - sans makeup, hair thrown on top of my head, and you may question if my oversized mug has become an extension of my hand.

I'd tell you that I should have thought about this whole "Kaffee with Kym" thing months ago when we were living in Germany (since coffee is kaffee in Germany), but to just go with it.

I'd ask for your advice about something that weighs heavy on my heart. We'd begin by talking about the whole Paula Deen situation, and I'd tell you that I've become sick and tired of ignorant people judging others based on the color of their skin, sexual orientation, or where they come from. I've been an outsider in another country, and I suppose it's made me more open to and accepting of others ... or,  I just have a kind, human heart. I'd ask for your advice on how to stop people from passing these types of comments in front of me, especially if they are family or a friend? The judgmental words, jokes and insinuations make me uncomfortable, sad and angry - but I believe that if you don't have anything nice to say to not say anything at all - so, I never do. But I want to say something. I want to question why these people are so judgmental and flat out ignorant ... but I don't like confrontation. So, what would you do? What do you do in these situations?

I'd tell you about a man who I worked with years ago, who was in a fatal motorcycle accident a couple of weeks ago. He was returning from a benefit for a young boy who was shot by his father before watching his sister be shot dead, and then his father turning the gun on himself. Chad, the man in the motorcycle accident, updated his Facebook status about three hours before his unfortunate accident, with the words: "Life is precious and should be appreciated as such!!!" I've been looking at his last Facebook update frequently - while his words were in reference to the young boy's benefit, they became strong, lasting parting words - life is precious, and it should be appreciated as such because it clearly can be taken from you at any moment.

I'd also tell you, on the same eerie token, about my father's psychic reading from last week when my family went to the beach. The psychic told my dad that she saw that I had a miscarriage, and to let me know that there is nothing that I could have done differently because that spirit wasn't meant to visit earth yet, and that a new baby would be here soon. I usually brush psychic-stuff off as a crock of crap, but that's creepy, huh?

I'd then lighten up a bit and ask you if you have any 4th of July or summer vacation plans, and I'd tell you that I can't wait to head to the Cape with friends next weekend, and then to Cancun with TJ at the end of the month.

I'd tell you that we should do this more often, thank you for being a good friend, and invite you back real soon.


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  1. Aw Kymmy, I really feel like I just had coffee with you but so wish we could have REAL coffee together! If we were chatting now, I would say...
    - I feel exactly the same about conflict but not wanting to keep quiet anymore too! Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and opinions but if it is going to affect or hurt or anger someone else than rather keep quiet or speak to someone with your own views! We have a few friends that have left the country to live elsewhere but instead of being positive and making the most out of life, they are being so negative and starting to frustrate me!! I have to read daily facebook updates about how cold and rainy their country is and how they long for home and the sunshine but then the next day, they are complaining about our crime and sports teams and swear never to return!! WTF?!
    - I am so sorry about Chad - there is nothing more devastating than a life lost so young and so tragically. I have to agree though, I really think that we all have a sixth sense about leaving this precious Earth. I know of two stories where a man and a child have shown signs of knowing that they are going, all subconsciously...
    - I'm not a fan of psychics but I am always praying for you my friend. You and TJ will make fantastic parents one day - all in God's timing.
    - We obviously don't celebrate 4th of July in South Africa but always looks like good fun!

  2. P.S. Longest.post.ever!! Sorry x

  3. I would also appreciate a "Cocktails with Kym" segment, please. You know, like the one we had last night. Oh, you weren't drinking? I was. Whoops. #myhusbandisdumb

  4. First, I would tell you that if we're going to have coffee in this heat/humidity, it better be a DD Iced Coffee - vanilla, with cream, please.

    I would tell you that I really like what you said about Paula Deen. "I've become sick and tired of ignorant people judging others based on the color of their skin, sexual orientation, or where they come from" - AMEN, sister. Also on the Paula Deen topic though, I sure hope that in 27 years (when I will be 54 - WTF), I hope that I am not judged and persecuted by others for mistakes I made today. It just bugs the crap out of me that there are NFL players out there who have murdered people, sexually assaulted women, abused animals and done a series of other heinous crimes and I feel like they get some sort of free pass and even worse, continue to be considered role models for our country's children. Jumping off my soap box now.

    I would say that every time I see you post about working out, it motivates me to do the same. Working out doesn't always come easily to me - chronic fatigue a nasty little bugger of a symptom of Crohn's Disease, so most days, I have to save what little energy I have for "required" activities, like work and showering, etc. I'm starting to get better about seeing fitness as a required activity too - I will only have the time and energy for it if I MAKE the time for it and at times, FAKE the energy for it. I also need to learn to turn my phone off when I'm working out so my boss doesn't call and kill the good groove I've got going and otherwise annoy me.

    I would tell you that I'm dying to know about your new business venture, and am so impressed/proud of you for following your dreams. I dream of being my own boss and owning my own business doing something that I love - I just haven't quite figured out what that is yet.

    I would tell you that I'm jealous of your upcoming trip to Cancun (I've never been and want to go!) and more importantly, I'll admit I'm more than a little jealous of your relationship with TJ. Not that I want TJ for myself (not that I don't either, but hopefully you know what I mean), but that you have such an awesome person to share your life with. I wish for that more than I wish for my own business, or for more energy, or for just about anything else in life. And being patient while I wait for the right man to come along is not easy. Or fun.

    And I agree - I would also appreciate a "Cocktails with Kym" segment!

  5. Ok first, I need a giant cup like that!?! So sorry to hear about your friend, but like you said, life is precious and it serves as a good lesson for all of us anytime someone we know passes suddenly... Live it to the fullest, yes!? And YES, that's crazy about the psychic! She couldn't have been more right on!
    Cancun? For real? So jealous! ;)

  6. I love this kind of posting! And I normally brush off the psychic stuff too but that gave me chills.

  7. I love this! Definitely make Kaffee with Kym a blog staple :)

  8. I love that mug, it looks perfect! :) Such a great post.

  9. This is the third post in a row where I've commented so I feel a little like a stalker, but I really enjoy reading what you have to say.

    Regarding intolerant people...I'd say ask them. I don't like confrontation either, but if you just simply ask a person why they feel that way and tell them you'd like to understand their perspective. You're not confronting them, you're just asking. If the people in question are anything like the intolerant people I know, it will turn into a confrontation almost immediately after you ask the question because the person will get super defensive. The only reason they get so defensive is because they really don't have a good reason for being so prejudicial and they can't explain themselves for that reason. Maybe all it would take for them to open their perspective a little is to hear a situation when you felt you were being judged unfairly?

    I have friends who believe everything psychics say. I spoke to a psychic to find a lost dog. That last one sounds weird, but all the clues she was giving were spot on. It seems a little hocus pocus-y, but it's uncanny how they are able to see things.

  10. Regarding the first topic, I've been asking myself that same thing during this past week. How can you stop people from being judgmental around you? I think the thing that makes me the most uncomfortable is the person that makes those comments and judgements because they've never known anything different. I was surrounded by that earlier this week, and I just had to leave. I hate confrontation, but I was so angry I almost started crying. Is it too much to ask for people to just be nice?

    I hope you had a wonderful 4th!


I love reading your thoughts and opinions and I do try to answer all comments and questions. If you would like to contact me directly feel free to email me at ourfoxtales@gmail.com or find me on Instagram @_kymfox.

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